


Broken Clocks

by BoysAndMonsters



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: (Mostly) Everyone is Gay, Best Friends, Character Study, Cute, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 13:58:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12459222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoysAndMonsters/pseuds/BoysAndMonsters
Summary: Kurusu Akira is adrift now that the Phantom Thieves are ordinary high school students again. As the gang drops him off at home, his best friend, Sakamoto Ryuji, seems just as lost as Akira is. Ryuji reveals a shocking truth - that he's in love with Akira - the night before the group is prepared to separate for good. While Akira returns Ryuji's affections, he has to figure out his place in the world now that he's no longer a Phantom Thief. Akira and Ryuji struggle to figure out what it means to have a queer romantic relationship while simultaneously planning for their futures.The trials and tribulations of romance come alongside a greater quest. Morgana still wants to become human and ropes the Phantom Thieves in his search. The Phantom Thieves come back together to help their dear friend, discovering remnants of the mysterious Metaverse that challenge their memories, their histories, and their relationships with each other.





	Broken Clocks

Prologue: 2:00 AM

The sound of sizzling vegetables hissed in the background. Akira drank from his glass of water, the sweat from the glass rubbing off on his palm. 

This was it. One year later, and the Phantom Thieves were officially saying goodbye to each other. 

“It’s hard to believe that this is our last time together for a while.” 

Makoto’s voice rose above the noise of the restaurant. Everyone looked away from her, as if it made what she said less real. 

The silence choked them. Akira gripped his knees, hoping that none of his friends could see just how much he regretted those words. 

“Don’t make it sound so…final,” Ann said. “Akira will come back to visit all of us soon enough. Won’t you?” 

Akira nodded. “Of course.” 

“But it won’t be the same,” Futaba said. Both of her hands were wrapped around her water glass. Strands of her hair fell forward, shielding her eyes. 

“No…I suppose it won’t,” Yusuke said. 

Haru sighed, lifting her eyes until they met Akira’s. “It may not be the same, but our leader would never abandon us.” 

Our leader. 

The words seemed to set the world alight, a strand of sunlight breaking through the clouds. Silence gave way to hesitant laughter. Before long, everyone was laughing. Most of them were crying, too.

“Sorry for being so dramatic,” Makoto said. “We’re just going to miss you.” 

Akira smiled. “I’m going to miss you all, too. Even when you’re dramatic.”

One of the restaurant workers came by and started setting down their bowls of ramen. The smell was rich, salty and deep, just like he remembered. After spending the past eight days exploring the beach and the mountains along the coast, the Phantom Thieves had made their final stop in his hometown. A year wasn’t such a long time, yet everything had changed. 

“Let’s dig in!” Futaba immediately began stuffing her face.

“Mm! …ot! Hot!” 

Akira burst out laughing. “Be careful, or you’ll burn your tongue off.” 

“ ‘s not funny, Akira,” she mumbled. 

As they all began eating, Akira glanced over at Ryuji. He was sitting between Ann and Makoto, quietly picking up one noodle at a time with his chopsticks. Ryuji was normally the loudest of them all. Ramen shops were his happy place, too.

Something was wrong with his friend. 

“I think I finally understand what you were talking about when we left Shibuya, Ryuji.” 

Everyone at the table looked up at Akira, but he hardly noticed. His eyes were locked on Ryuji, who seemed more interested in the sediment in his ramen broth than in Akira. 

“…what d’ya mean?” 

Akira set his chopsticks on the table. “I mean what you said about how we can change the world by looking at it differently.” 

“What about it?” 

“Now that I’m home…I realized that I see it differently now. When I first got sent to Shibuya, I missed eating this ramen, going down the street to the bookstore. It’s like my memories had a shine to them.” 

No one at the table spoke. He felt his words lingering in the air, a perfume, heavy and sweet. Ryuji was finally looking at him. 

If he didn’t know better, he’d say Ryuji was about to cry. 

“This place doesn’t feel like home anymore. Not in the way that it used to. And it’s because of all of you,” Akira said. “You’ve turned my home into just another ordinary place, because I have something much more special in Shibuya. It’s you guys.” 

He forced himself to smile, pretending like his speech was the usual selfless rallying-cry of hope from back when they were invading Palaces and stealing Treasure. He buried his desire to see Ryuji react deep down. None of them needed more sadness. 

“Wow…,” Ann said. 

“You’re truly remarkable,” Yusuke added after a moment. 

Makoto smirked, closing her eyes as a small tear escaped. “What are we going to do without you?” 

He shook his head, picking up his chopsticks again. “Just what you’ve always done. Kick ass, and change the world.” 

Ryuji visibly relaxed a bit, diving into his ramen with almost as much energy as Futaba. The gang continued eating and chatting until every one of their bowls was empty. 

Outside, night had fallen, and the streets outside were bathed in soft amber from streetlamps and the occasional paper lantern. The night air swept into the restaurant, sharpening itself against Akira’s skin. Every moment with his friends suddenly felt precious. 

“Now that we’re stuffed, why don’t we explore?” Ann asked. 

“That sounds lovely,” Haru said, gently pushing her chair back. 

The Phantom Thieves gathered their things, leaving a generous tip. Outside, the world crystallized. Akira felt the sharpness of footsteps against concrete, of cars rolling by on newly-paved streets. 

He let the others lead the way. Makoto, Ann, and Morgana walked in front, pointing out shops and restaurants. 

“Wow, that bakery smells delicious.” 

“And look at those wood carvings!” 

“Maybe we can get them to do one of Morgana?” 

“Hey!” 

Akira walked behind them, watching his friends find new things to enjoy about a place he’d already forgotten. They walked energetically, stopping in front of anything that interested them. It wasn’t rural, but it also wasn’t the human rampage that was Shibuya on a Saturday night. 

Next to him, Ryuji barely looked up from the ground, his hands dug deep into his pockets. 

“What’s up, Ryuji?” Ann turned around, jabbing a finger in-between his eyes. “You’re acting like a mopey asshole.” 

“Ann’s right,” Yusuke added. “Normally I’d be thrilled to see you quietly contemplating life, but this doesn’t feel right.” 

“It’s nothing, guys. Just tired. Didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.” 

“If you say so…” Ann turned back around, her attention shifting to a brightly-lit store window with floral print summer dresses on display. She ran inside, and most of the gang follows. 

_It’s just us._

Ryuji leaned against a stone wall next to the entrance, looking anywhere but at Akira. 

“Is it something I did?” 

Ryuji’s face shot up, his eyes wide, brimming with panic. 

“Because if it’s something I did, tell me. I’ll fix it,” Akira said. 

Nothing. 

“I promise, Ryuji. Whatever it is, I’ll fix it.” 

Ryuji slowly shook his head. “This may be the one thing you can’t fix, Akira.” 

“Tell me what it is!” Akira took one step forward, then another. “If I don’t know, then nothing can change.” 

A group of young professionals walked past them, their cheeks blushing the pink of one-too-many beers; loose ties, shortened pencil skirts, weary faces painted with the excitement of freedom. Akira moved closer to Ryuji as they passed. 

“Sorry,” he said under his breath. 

For some reason, Akira felt his heartbeat hasten. It sounded loud, as though it had migrated to be with his brain, every beat pounding the back of his eardrums. 

“No…it’s fine.” Ryuji sounded strained, breathless. 

Huh. Akira studied Ryuji’s face. A light blush had spread over his cheeks. Whatever this was, it wasn’t anger like he’d initially thought. He’d seen Ryuji angry countless times in the past year. When Ryuji was angry, he let everyone know it.

This was something different. 

“I just want you to tell me, Ryuji. I don’t want my last time seeing you for a while to be like this.” 

Ryuji gulped. His mouth twitched; his eyes darted back and forth. “I-If you say so, Akira.” 

He didn’t know what it was. Akira still felt the pounding beat in his head, and Ryuji was practically shaking. 

“We’re ba-ack!” 

Futaba jumped out of the store holding a small turquoise shopping bag. “What’s up? Did something happen with you two?” 

Suddenly, Akira felt self-conscious. He stepped away from Ryuji. How had they gotten so close, anyway? He didn’t notice how close they were. At least, he thought he didn’t notice when it was happening…

“Nothing, Futaba-chan. He was cheering me up, trying to do that hero-bullshit.” 

“Did it work?” Makoto came out behind Futaba. “If you’re still going to mope, we can have you sleep in the van tonight.” 

“What the hell? I’m not sleeping in no dirty tin van by myself,” Ryuji shouted. “I’m fine. Everything’s fine.” 

“Good. Just in time for us to grab dessert before we go back to Akira’s place,” said Yusuke. 

“Can we drop by the van first? I don’t have the hands for dessert.” Ann sheepishly displayed multiple shopping bags. “What? Everything’s expensive in Shibuya. A girl’s gotta take advantage of every deal she can.” 

“Let’s be quick. I want ice cream!” Morgana said, licking his front paw. 

“I don’t think they sell ice cream directly to cats.” Futaba bent down and put Morgana in her arms. “Let’s goooo!” 

Akira glanced toward Ryuji as the group barreled onward. Maybe now things would be back to normal. 

***

It was 2 AM when everyone started getting tired. Akira’s mother, Kurusu Tsukiko, converted their living room into a hodge-podge guest room for the Phantom Thieves, with a few futons spilling into Akira’s room. Their home was small, but compared to his attic in Leblanc it felt like a mansion. Everything was five years older than it had to be; their couch and chairs were worn away in places, surrounding a television about as heavy as the one he’d purchased at the junk shop near Leblanc. 

Ten years before, Akira’s dad left them, sending his mother into a spiral of depression and single-motherhood. Akira was happy she had a place of her own, something to be proud of. Even if it meant she worked extra hours every week to get overtime, or a promotion, whatever came first. 

Granted, coming back now felt different. His mother hesitated over the phone when he’d called, asking if the gang could stay. 

“I’m not sure we have the room…” 

He stayed silent, gripping the phone tightly, as if to break it. 

“…I guess we’ll figure it out,” she said. 

When they’d arrived in town, she greeted everyone and gave Akira a long hug. 

“You’re home,” she said. It was warm, it was home, but it didn’t feel as good as he expected it to. 

By the time they all returned from their adventure out, she was asleep, and would leave for work in the morning long before any of them woke up. 

The strange thing was that Akira expected something different. After defeating a divine evil created by the twisted desires of the masses, he expected something…more. His world changed; why shouldn’t his mother’s? 

He thought about it as he brushed his teeth in their cramped bathroom. Could he just come back and live the way that he used to, be the same person, after everything that happened to him? 

After he finished his routine, Akira walked into his room. Ryuji was sitting cross-legged on a futon, a manga volume in his hands. It was an old issue of Magic Knight Rayearth, from back when Akira read for fun rather than to study. Yusuke was supposed to sleep with them as well, but he had fallen asleep on the couch and no one had the heart to move him. 

“Ready to hit the hay, man?” 

Ryuji looked up at him. He’d calmed down after they got ice cream and seemed back to his old self. It wasn’t quite right – to Akira, it felt like Ryuji was masquerading as a manic version of himself when they all watched game shows and gossiped about school. Every joke was over the top, and every laugh was too loud. 

“If you want to, sure. I’m not really tired yet.” 

Surprise came over Ryuji’s face. 

“Okay.” 

Before Ryuji could continue reading, Akira sat down across from him. “I want to talk about what happened earlier.”

“I told you, it’s nothing. Not anything that concerns you, anyway.”

The tips of Ryuji’s ears were a dim pink. 

Akira leaned back, as if to study Ryuji. His best friend was blushing, averting his gaze, and acting like nothing was wrong. Not only was something clearly wrong, but it was something embarrassing enough to make him blush.

“Is this because you like someone and you’re afraid to tell me?” 

“What?!” Ryuji bolted up, clamping both of his hands over his mouth as he registered just how loud he was. “That’s none of your fucking business, dude,” he said in an exaggerated whisper. 

“So, I’m right. Who are they? Who do you like?”

“I said it’s none of your fucking business.” 

“It must be someone pretty embarrassing if you’re this secretive.” Akira thought for a moment, picturing all of their close friends. Just who would Ryuji like…

“It’s Makoto, isn’t it? You’re worried she doesn’t like you because you’re, well, not the smartest guy there is. Or Yusuke. He’s got that brooding artist thing down, but he’s awkward. Definitely not someone I’d expect you to like…” 

“It’s not Makoto. It’s not Yusuke. I don’t like anyone!” 

“Futaba-chan? Nah, that’d be weird, even for you…” 

“It’s no one. I don’t like anyone. Forget it!” Ryuji said, his voice rising again. “Just forget it.” 

Akira watched as Ryuji folded into himself, as if he could bend his limbs over and over again until his body disappeared. 

Why is this so hard to understand? Akira was an honor student, top of their class. He was no Makoto or Goro Akechii, but he’d gotten the Phantom Thieves out of many life-or-death situations. Understanding Ryuji shouldn’t be impossible. 

Makoto always told him that, when trying to solve an unsolvable problem, the first step was to move away from it. Akira took a deep breath and imagined himself as an outsider. What would someone, out of the blue, think of what was going on with Ryuji? 

Blushing. Stammering. Embarrassment. A reluctance to speak. A secret. Being into someone that he couldn’t reveal. 

Wait…

Could it be?

“Ryuji,” Akira said slowly. “Is the person you like…me?” 

Ryuji uncoiled his body, each movement slow and methodical as though his bones were thick, weighted iron. His face looked broken as if Akira had thrown it against the ground, shattering it into glass shards. 

“Y-y-you figured it out.” 

Tears welled up in Ryuji’s eyes. They came in quiet streams that ghosted against Ryuji’s pale skin. 

Akira had been attracted to Ryuji when they first met. There was something magnetic about the boy, his penchant for causing trouble and letting passion guide his life. Ryuji’s eyes sucked you in, didn’t let you go. When it became clear that Ryuji was insistent on just liking girls – on their beach trip, in Hawaii, and in offhanded comments at the gym – he’d given up. Better to kill a crush than to fall hopelessly in love. 

He’d gotten over it, moved on. No one else in their group attracted him the way Ryuji did; it was easy to stay focused on saving the world, especially once it became clear just how important that was. 

Never did it cross his mind that Ryuji would like him back. 

“I like you too, Ryuji.” 

He said it softly, so softly that anyone could miss it.

“Like hell, you bastard. Stop playing games with me. Stop trying to fix it. You can’t pretend to like me just to make me feel better,” Ryuji said, taking Akira’s words and twisting them into dark, tangled knots. 

“I’m not lying or pretending, Ryuji. I…I do like you. I have for a long time.” Akira placed his head in his hands, letting his unruly hair shield him. “But you talked like you were only interested in women, so I let it go.”

Ryuji sniffled. “You, let it go? You don’t let anything go.” 

Akira looked up at his friend, at his swollen eyes and shaking lips. “I had to. Don’t you get it? I didn’t want to lose you. I’d rather have you as a friend and never touch you than make you upset with me because of my feelings.” 

“What kind of self-sacrificial bullshit is that? You must be dumber than you look if you think that makes sense. We’re the Phantom Thieves. Ain’t our lives about taking risks for what we believe in?” 

“I guess you’re right, but it would have been selfish of me to act on it. You’re not someone I’m going to risk losing, Ryuji.” 

The air in Akira’s room had stilled, their words lingering above them. 

Ryuji took a deep breath. He brought his eyes to Akira’s, staring into the heart of him. 

“Risk it. Risk it for me.” 

Akira felt his heart catch. There was so much to consider. In less than 24 hours, Ryuji would be in a van driving back home…without him. They’d be a train ride away and finishing up their last year of school before university. So much could go wrong. So much – 

He braced himself, pushed every thought down into a crevice next to his heart. He’d think about it later. 

“Okay, Ryuji. I’ll do it for you.” 

Ryuji gasped as Akira leaned forward until their chests touched. 

Akira kissed Ryuji with everything he had, and everything changed.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, everyone! This is my first fic for AO3, and my first fic in 5+ years, so please cut me some slack as I get back into the ropes of writing very, very queer characters in one of my new favorite video game universes. This is only the prologue because I have a lot of tentative ideas for this fic; it was going to primarily be a romance, but it's going to be threaded with subplots about Morgana's quest and with other character relationships as things progress. I appreciate any feedback you have, and I'm aiming to update it weekly - so if you want that to happen, encourage me (especially during NaNoWriMo, which I'll be participating in with an original work). 
> 
> P.S. The title was inspired by SZA's song "Broken Clocks" on her album CTRL. Highly recommended music listening. <3 <3


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